Our So-Called 'Imperfections'

We are not perfect…and we are not meant to be or expected to be. You’ve heard this before, right? So then why do we spend so much time trying to make others think that we are perfect and lead the perfect lives? In striving for ‘perfection’ sometimes it is easy to neglect our problems and weaknesses, which if not addressed, will continue to hinder us from that ‘perfection.’ So many of us fail to acknowledge that we have problems and issues because in doing so, we also acknowledge that we are not perfect. But, as we quickly figure out–problems do not fix themselves or go away with time. They may ‘go away’ temporarily but sooner or later you will find yourself in the same place with the same problem you started with. As Albert Einstein once wisely said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” There comes a point when enough is enough and problems must be addressed, no matter how painful or difficult it may be. In facing your fears, weaknesses and imperfections, you will find yourself becoming more confident, stronger and more in order for success!

For example, let’s say that there’s a hypothetical young girl. She doesn’t like being alone and therefore is constantly searching for a person to fill that void and tends to lower her standards just to satisfy her WANT of not being alone. (Note the use of want vs. need) So she ends up with the company that she wanted, but they are not compatible with her because in the rush to fill that void, she neglected really getting to know that person better. She lowered her standards by allowing that person to get closer to her, but her true standards still exist and cause trouble in the relationship because her needs and expectations are not being met. The relationship then comes to its inevitable end and she is unfortunately back where she started. She has placed most of the blame for the situation on the other person’s inadequacies or immaturity. This allows her to feel better about herself by identifying other people’s weaknesses but not her own. And then along comes the next rebound guy…

Once she addresses her problem, she can figure out why she doesn’t like being alone and work towards developing a solution to her problem. As the causes vary, the solutions will too so there isn’t one set answer. She may have some abandonment issues from her childhood. She may have gotten out of a long term relationship and forgotten how to be alone. She may not have very high self esteem and uses the company of others to help validate herself. Once she takes the time to try to understand herself and her actions more, she can begin to ensure that she does not become the perfect example of Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity—destined to forever repeat the same meaningless cycle.

I think that the major part of our aspirations for perfection and success should be in identifying and dealing with the imperfections first, lest we not repeat the same mistakes! Take off the mask you are hiding under that prevents you from living a happier, more fulfilling life!